Spacedread Missing After Entering Portal Marked "Definitely Not a Portal"
The sign was very clear. The sign was also, investigators now believe, the portal.
Spacedread has not been seen since 9:14 p.m. on Friday, when he walked through a doorway with a cardboard sign taped to it that read, in marker, DEFINITELY NOT A PORTAL.
It was a portal.
Security footage shows him stopping in front of the sign, reading it, looking directly into the camera for eleven seconds, and walking through anyway. He did not appear to be in a hurry. According to one analyst, he appeared to be "going to check on something."
| Material | cardboard (the box once held a toaster) |
|---|---|
| Lettering | black marker, all caps |
| Spelling | correct, which investigators found suspicious |
| Tape | four strips, one of them a mango sticker |
| Current location | unknown. it followed him through |
Investigators first treated the sign as a warning. They now believe the sign was the portal, and the doorway was just a doorway that happened to be standing behind it. "We have taken down every sign in the building," a spokesperson said. "Three of them were portals. One was the fire exit. We are keeping the fire exit."
What he left behind
- His keys, still on the counter.
- A kettle, still warm when the Void Desk arrived.
- A note on the fridge that says COUNT IS WRONG and, underneath, in smaller letters, going to look.
The timing has not gone unnoticed. Spacedread was last seen near the building where a local man ate forty-six mangos earlier this week, the same week the Office of Mango Records confirmed a count of "one more than we had." Asked whether the two events were connected, the Office said it "does not comment on the whereabouts of green people."
It's a portal. Knock anyway. Everybody does.
IT'S BIGGER IN HERE. EVERY MANGO HAS A NUMBER WRITTEN ON IT. SOMEBODY HAS BEEN WRITING THEM. THE HANDWRITING GETS WORSE TOWARD THE END. DO NOT MOVE THE SIGN.
