Paste Monkey Arrested After Attempting to Sell Rotten Mango NFTs

A Paste Monkey was taken into custody on Thursday after attempting to sell what investigators describe as a non-fungible token of a mango that had, at the time of sale, already gone soft.

The suspect, whose name is also Paste Monkey, was arrested outside the Arcade at around 4 p.m. He was wearing a top hat. Witnesses say he was wearing it "with intent."

The scheme

According to the charge sheet, the Paste Monkey photographed a single mango, printed the photograph, photographed the printout, and sold the second photograph as the original. Buyers received a certificate of authenticity written on the back of a napkin. It said, in full, "mango (real)."

Detectives confirmed that four hundred identical one-of-one tokens were sold over three days. The actual mango was found inside the suspect's hat. It was in very poor condition and has since been, in the words of the arresting officer, "counted, with difficulty."

Which crime first

At a hearing on Friday the judge asked which charge the court should take up first: fraud, for selling a picture of a mango as a mango, or the more serious matter of possessing a mango that "had not been entered into the record." The courtroom went quiet in a way that the court reporter described as "expensive."

Everybody wants the real mango. Nobody wants to count it. I'm the only one out here counting.

The Office of Mango Records has asked the court to confirm, in writing, that none of the four hundred tokens were counted as real mangos. The court asked the Office what exactly it means by "counted." The Office has not replied.